6 Years Later

Wow. This was fun.

I was just watching a clip from Last Week Tonight about the fashion industry and the ubiquitous problem of child labor in sweatshops. From the inner recesses of my mind, a faded memory rose up of a naive 19 year old college freshman, and his attempt at deep thinking.. and blogging. Luckily I remembered the name of the blog (I Find This Intriguing; wow, I feel like that says enough right there), and started perusing my old thoughts. In addition the the laughs and a couple of embarrassed head shakes, the experience was actually quite profound. There were three things that really stood out to me.

1) The post about God. Wow. Definitely some anger there. That anger is gone now. I would like to say that after years of inner turmoil, debate, research and existential searching, I finally found some peace; some sort of inner comfort. Sadly- or rather, not sadly, simply neutrally- I have moved on. The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference. I'm just moving along on auto-pilot. Six years later.

2) My writing has improved, in my humble opinion, a lot since then. This makes perfect sense. Since then I spent three years studying English Literature and Creative Writing, and generally became a more knowledgeable, dare I say, adult. That's a good thing, and that's the way it should be. But these old blog posts helped make that growth a little bit more tangible. The take-away from this, and I say this basically every day- I need to write more. Writing is like a muscle, and when you don't use it, it goes away. That same thing has happened to my physical body. Well, I just joined a gym to take help improve on my physical self, might as well take the opportunity to work out my intellectual muscles also.

3) I'm still amazed by the innate desire for self expression. I've noticed this about myself over the years. The ideas I tried to express in those posts were mediocre and half baked, at best. And maybe the ideas expressed right here and now are also average. That's not the point. I have an idea, and I want to express it! Express it to whom? Good question, as no one is going to read this. But the drive is still there. And it's the same drive that makes people want to write. We like to tell stories, to share in something. Even though my ideas might not ever be novel or significant, there is tremendous value in simply attempting to share them. As I right this, I'm thinking of how I'm going to use this moment as a springboard into blogging more, and writing more. I already have a schedule planned out, and topics I want to discuss. In reality, I know this probably won't happen. I'll write two or three more posts and then lose the passion and six years from now I'll stumble across this old post and laugh at how naive and sophomoric it is. Well, I hope that maybe this time I'll finally beat the odds. But even if I don't- that's ok. Because there is still value in trying.

If I do fail again, and the next time someone reads this is 31 year old Yitzchok, then I have two things to say. One, wow man, you're old. You're not even in your 20's anymore! Second, what's up? Fill me in on your life. I'm sure it's awesome.

Time

I'm back, in a little bit of a better mood. Not much has happened since yesterday, but there is one thing I would like to say. Last night I pulled an all nighter- I managed to squeeze in a nap from 7:30 to 9, but otherwise, I was pretty busy. However, I couldn't help but notice the serenity of Washington Heights (in Manhattan) in the waking hours of the morning. For those of you who don't know much about the Heights, it is a pretty happening place for about 20 hours of the day. Having spent a big part of my life on the same block in the Heights, I have always seen it as this busy place, loud, and noisy. I would have found it hard to imagine it the way I saw it this morning. Quiet. Serene. The sun just breaking over the horizon. Birds chirping. It served as a reminder for one important point- Nothing is simply how it seems. Beneath the surface, endless possibilities await.

Until next time, 

Live Life To The Fullest

Morality

I am struck by a question that has been plaguing philosophers and laymen alike since the beginning of time- the nature of humankind. Are people inherently good, evil, or nothing? I have always tried to believe that deep down people are good, but most of us get caught up in greed, money, or power to let it come up. But recently I have been reconsidering my position.

I just watched a news article about child-sweatshops in India. My first reaction was, oh my god, that is terrible! But do I really believe that? The news piece focused on a major clothing company that I frequently buy from (the name of the company will remain anonymous, since this blog has such a large audience, I don't want to cause any major losses to the company), and, truth be told, I have known about this for a long time and still buy there. We have all known about this, and we still all buy there.

So, deep down, was I really upset that a ten year old in New Delhi is working without shoes for 13 hours a day? Or do I stop caring when go to buy my ten dollar t-shirt, or three dollar flip-flops? I think of the child in New Delhi, and I try and think what kind of life he will have. When I was ten, I was in fifth grade, playing sports, having fun with my friends. I had my own sneakers, and when there was a little wear and tear to it, my parents took me to get new ones. I am sure that childhood is a far away dream the young boy in India thinks of while stitching together my next pair of dockers.

What did I do to deserve the great childhood I had? When yo get down to it, what can a child ever do to influence his life? Isn't that supposed to be the beauty of childhood- you don't worry about the future, because you are just a kid? But I am getting off topic here. Let us return to the original question

Are people inherently good or bad? Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion they are bad. Look at the people around you- how many would you trust your life with? Did you get past your first hand? I doubt it. How many people would you make a sacrifice for? Do we really care about other people, when it isn't beneficial to us?

Let me make myself clear- I am not saying whoever buys clothes that are made in sweatshops are bad people, but it gives us great insight into the nature of man. We (hopefully) feel a twinge of guilt when we make such purchases, but that is usually it. You may respond to this, "it isn't my job to make sure Brand X doesn't use child labor," and that is completely true. But why is it being done in the first place? This is not a rare occurrence, where only a few evil companies do this- no, that is not true. It has come to be widespread practice, basically acceptable. And that is why I think we are inherently selfish people.

How quick we forget our principles in the face of a good deal. And if you are that quick to "forget" your principle, what is really there in the first place?

Who knows, maybe tomorrow I will witness some amazing act of one stranger helping another, and my worldview will change. I hope that is the case, but so far I have been let down by humanity. Don't get me wrong, people can change. They can become good, kind, and inspirational. But they are the exception, and that is why they are so rare.

I know this post is a little on the dark side. Again, take what you will from it. Hopefully next time I will be in a better mood.

Until next time,

Live Life To The Fullest

Old Thoughts

Hello, back again. It is 2 in the morning, and I need a break from what I am doing. It looks like it is going to be a long night, and I am not looking forward to it. I was just looking through some stuff of mine from a long time ago, and I came upon the following. It is something I just felt the need to write, way back on Wed. December 17, at 3:23 AM. Here it is. Take what you will from it:

I'm angry. It's that simple. I'm angry because there is so much I don't know. I'm angry because there is so much more I will never know. I am living in a world that is empty. There is nothing here. I don't know where I am going. And I am angry

I am not angry at my friends; they are good people, mostly. The truth is, when I get past my fears, when I get deep down, I am only angry at one person. I am angry at God

I am angry. I'm angry because I believe in God. I believe there is a God. I'm angry because God wont help me. I know that I am supposed to believe that really God is there, I just can't see it. That just makes me even more angry. I am tired of this game we are playing- me and God. He gives me tests, and I keep failing. I'm tired of the constant pain and guilt that's always with me. I'm tired that I always stumble. And I am angry.

I'm angry that I can't understand anything. I'm angry because everything is dark, and there is no light. I'm angry because I am ignorant-but not ignorant enough.

I am angry. And I am tired of it. 

Until next time, 

Live Life To The Fullest

First post

Hello overyone one. I have no idea what I am doing. I was sitting at my computer reading an article on a news site, and I just felt the urge to comment on it. Then I realized that I often have the urge to make comments on lots of things. Therefore, I decided I would start my own blog.

I typed into google, "How do I start my own blog," and two minutes later, here I am. I dont know how blogging works, or who is ever going to read this, but I figured, what the heck, I might as well try. There is no downside to trying. Odds are I will write posts and no one will ever read them, but that is a different story,

Well, since this is a blog, I guess I should talk about the original issue that caused me to start this. I was on foxnews.com, and I saw an article that said Miss California most probably lost her chance to be Miss America by answering a question truthfully. She was asked, after Vermont became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage, will and should the rest of America follow suit. She answered very simply that she believes marriage is between a man and a women. Now forget whatevery my opinion may be (which, as you may have noticed, I have not mentioned), she was asked to give hers. And she did. And she is being penalized for it. I find that intriguing.

In a pageant called "Miss United States," they should look at the first ammendment to the country its title bears, and reconsider its actions. 

Well, I guess that is it for my first post. I am not sure if I am doing this right, or if there is even a right way for that matter, but I am sure I will get the hang of it as I go along.

Until next time,

Live Life to the Fullest