Old Thoughts

Hello, back again. It is 2 in the morning, and I need a break from what I am doing. It looks like it is going to be a long night, and I am not looking forward to it. I was just looking through some stuff of mine from a long time ago, and I came upon the following. It is something I just felt the need to write, way back on Wed. December 17, at 3:23 AM. Here it is. Take what you will from it:

I'm angry. It's that simple. I'm angry because there is so much I don't know. I'm angry because there is so much more I will never know. I am living in a world that is empty. There is nothing here. I don't know where I am going. And I am angry

I am not angry at my friends; they are good people, mostly. The truth is, when I get past my fears, when I get deep down, I am only angry at one person. I am angry at God

I am angry. I'm angry because I believe in God. I believe there is a God. I'm angry because God wont help me. I know that I am supposed to believe that really God is there, I just can't see it. That just makes me even more angry. I am tired of this game we are playing- me and God. He gives me tests, and I keep failing. I'm tired of the constant pain and guilt that's always with me. I'm tired that I always stumble. And I am angry.

I'm angry that I can't understand anything. I'm angry because everything is dark, and there is no light. I'm angry because I am ignorant-but not ignorant enough.

I am angry. And I am tired of it. 

Until next time, 

Live Life To The Fullest